


A Lily in Flanders Fields

by LibertyLady17



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/M, Gunshot Wounds, Heartbreak, Injured Tommy, Medical, Nurses, Period Typical Attitudes, Period-Typical Sexism, Romance, World War I
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:21:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28981782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LibertyLady17/pseuds/LibertyLady17
Summary: While caring for wounded soldiers near the Somme, Lillian Baker encounters a striking blue-eyed Sergeant Major Thomas Shelby. Lillian’s compassionate skill and unwavering dedication quickly endears her to the wounded Sergeant Major in her care. Linked together by a chance meeting, the pair finds themselves in the midst of a whirlwind romance. As the war wages on, all Tommy and Lillian can do is plant their love down deep in their hearts and pray for rain.
Relationships: Tommy Shelby/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 56





	1. Chapter 1

Casualty Clearing Station  
North of Amiens, France  
July 1916

Lillian hiked her bloody uniform off the ground as she rushed toward the entrance; the sound of her black boots reverberating loudly off the stone floor. Stepping out into the merciless French wind, Lillian held her white veil in place to prevent it from pulling on her already tender scalp. If her superiors observed her disheveled state, she would surly receive a stern reprimand; but Lillian didn’t care about that now. Already today three soldiers died before surgery, another two she found dead in the ambulance, and one perished while in surgery. Sadly, such events were hardly unusual in war. Since the first day of fighting at the Somme, it had been a constant stream of blood and death; and from where Lillian stood there was no end in sight. 

Lillian hurried to the mud covered ambulance that had just arrived and threw open the doors. She surveyed the new arrivals, determining that all four soldiers were urgent cases. From the looks of it, they received first aid and dressings, but no further care prior to their arrival. 

“Orderly! I’ve got an ambulance full of wounded!” Lillian shouted before hiking the skirt of her dress up and climbing into the ambulance. “Take this man first.” She said, pointing to the soldier with a gunshot wound to the abdomen. The bandages around his abdomen were soaked through with crimson blood; confirming that these soldiers required further treatment, and likely surgery. 

“Nurse.” Another soldier moaned. Lillian turned, her gentle green eyes connecting with those of a handsome young soldier. Beneath the thick layer of dirt and blood was the most striking pair of blue eyes Lillian had ever seen. 

“Yes, soldier?” She answered. Lillian used her thumb to rub the blood from the soldier’s identity tags before squinting to decipher the details. The name below the service number read ‘Sgt. Maj. T.M. Shelby 179’. 

“My friend.” He rasped, pointing to the first soldier removed by the orderlies. “He took that bullet for me.” The man said before sucking in a long labored breath. “You take care of him first.” His voice was now barely a whisper; further raising Lillian’s concerns. 

“What happened, Sergeant Major?” Lillian demanded, addressing him by his earned rank. 

“Tunnel collapsed.” Sergeant Major Shelby replied before coughing violently. Lillian hastily lifted up his bloodstained undershirt to examine his chest. Her gut twisted with worry upon discovering the array of colorful bruises. His lean muscles pulled drastically with every arduous breath. 

“Were you hit in the chest?” Lillian asked hurriedly. The soldier sucked in a few labored breaths before weakly nodding his head. If her current position permitted cursing, Lillian certainly would have. “What with? What were you hit with, Sergeant Major?” Lillian demanded. 

Lillian was certain it was a closed chest injury. Treatment for such an injury was beyond the scope of care provided at a regimental aid station. The soldiers with serious injuries usually received lifesaving operations prior to their arrival. Now at the end of a miles-long journey from the front, this soldier was in dire need of a doctor. “Orderly!” Lillian shouted from the back of the ambulance. “Why didn’t you say something sooner?” Lillian cursed the blue eyed soldier dying in front of her. 

“Freddie.” He whispered. Lillian could only assume it was the name of his friend. She took up one end of the stretcher to assist the medic in offloading the wounded soldier. Unlike some, Lillian had no aversion to carrying a stretcher; especially when time was of the essence.

“We’ll take it from here, Sister.” A stretcher-bearer offered as he took the stretcher from her hands. Lillian didn’t try to stop him, after all it was his job. 

“He’s top priority because of his breathing. It’s a closed chest wound.” Lillian called after them. She turned to find more stretcher-bearers and medics shuttling the remaining wounded inside. Lillian paused for a moment, racking her brain, searching for a reason that the Sergeant Major’s injury wasn’t identified sooner. Discontented, Lillian marched up to the driver of the ambulance, determined for answers. She didn’t hesitate in stepping up onto the runner and leaning in the window. “Where did these soldiers come from, Private?” She asked the young man seated behind the wheel. 

“North part of the line.” He answered. 

“I meant, which unit sent men in this condition?” Lillian clarified. 

“Didn’t anyone tell you, Sister?” The young soldier asked. 

“Clearly not.” Lillian retorted, annoyance slipping into her tone. 

“It’s a fucking mess out there – pardon my language.” He replied. 

“What do you mean?” Lillian asked, frustrated and flabbergasted at what she was hearing. 

“All the aid stations are overrun with wounded. Some even moved further out to avoid the artillery fire.” He said. Lillian couldn’t believe what she was hearing. This sounded like an impending disaster. “The doc took one look at these fellas and ordered me to bring them straight here. Said they’d get operated on faster here than if they waited there.” He explained. 

“Thank you for the information, Private. I’ll pass it along to my superiors.” Lillian said before climbing down from the ambulance and heading to the receiving area. 

Receiving was conducted in the main hall, the largest open room at their temporary post. On any given day there was wall to wall stretchers with only a small path between each one. In the dark of night, it was a dangerous place for nurses and orderlies alike. One could never predict when an arm or leg would fall into your path; or someone fall after an accidently misstep on a slick pool of fresh blood. Lillian promptly delivered the unfortunate news to the head physician, a formidable British Major. After suffering through his colorful string curses, Lillian excused herself to search for the Sergeant Major. 

The guttural cries coming from Sergeant Major Shelby twisted Lillian’s stomach up in knots. Pushing past the two medics, Lillian discovered him writhing in pain as the brand-new, Lieutenant conducted his examination. He clenched his teeth as the Lieutenant continued manipulating his damaged arm. Lillian tenderly cradled the Sergeant Major’s face in her hands and watched as the dirt disappeared from his face in the wake of his tears.

“Has he had morphine?” Lillian asked as she stroked his face in an effort to ease his pain. The Lieutenant sighed, not pleased by Lillian’s interruption.

“No, I’m still confirming my diagnosis, Sister.” He replied. The Sergeant Major gasped as the physician released his arm. “This soldier is badly injured. I need to examine him for any internal injuries.” He added, as if it wasn’t blatantly obvious. 

“Just put me out of my fucking misery, doc!” Sergeant Major Shelby shouted desperately through his clenched teeth. 

“He’s in pain. He needs morphine.” Lillian insisted. 

“And risk further compromising his breathing? I think not.” The Lieutenant answered arrogantly. 

“He would breath better if he wasn’t in such pain!” Lillian snapped, wishing more than anything she could smack him into seeing sense. Sergeant Major Shelby gasped loudly before his breathing further deteriorated. Lillian watched as the slight blue tint spread across his lips. “Lieutenant, it is obvious that this man needs surgery. If you’re not comfortable making an expedient diagnosis, I suggest you go find someone who is.” Her hardline words matched her unwavering glare. The Lieutenant glared down his nose at Lillian; viewing her as nothing more than a softhearted woman. 

“This is my patient and I will decide if, and when, he needs surgery!” The Lieutenant angerly barked. Overcome with anger, Lillian could hear her own heart thumping in her ears. 

“With respect, _Lieutenant _,” Lillian straightened and prepared to dress down the overly-confidant newcomer.__

__“Can I be of assistance, Sister? Lieutenant?” Captain Anderson asked, waltzing into their tumultuous disagreement._ _

__“Yes, Captain Anderson, I believe this soldier has a closed chest injury after being struck in the chest during a tunnel collapse. He has extensive bruising on his chest and been struggling to breath since he arrived. His lips are turning blue. Please, will you evaluate him?” Lillian pleaded with the Captain._ _

__“Lieutenant, do you agree with the Sister’s assessment?” Captain Anderson asked before proceeding with his own examination._ _

__“She’s just a nurse, Captain! She’s not trained to diagnose patients.” The Lieutenant proclaimed._ _

__“Prep this soldier for surgery. Make sure he receives a dose of morphine and oxygen until we’re ready. I’ll do it myself.” Captain Anderson ordered. The two medics quickly complied and moved the soldier to the makeshift operating ward. “I’m inclined to agree with your evaluation, Sister Baker. You were right to push him to the top of the queue.” The Captain said._ _

__“Thank you, Captain Anderson.” Lillian breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that Sergeant Major Shelby would be in the hands of a capable surgeon._ _

__“Captain, you can’t possibly condone nurses playing physician!” The Lieutenant protested._ _

__“I don’t condone novices playing like they’re my superior.” Lillian muttered under her breath._ _

__“I’ll be a Captain when I finish my training here, so you best get used to taking my orders, Sister.” He replied, seething._ _

__“That’s rich.” Lillian snickered. “I earned two strips in Belgium while you were still sitting in medical school.” Lillian snapped, her green eyes flashing dangerously at the cocky Lieutenant._ _

__“That’s enough from the both of you.” Captain Anderson warned them both. “Sister Baker, I’ve given you enough latitude. Now I must advise you to consider your place.” He cautioned her. “Now, Lieutenant, would you care to observe?” He asked._ _

__“Yes, sir.” The Lieutenant replied as he moved to follow Captain Anderson. He flashed Lillian a smug grin before disappearing from the room._ _

__“Sister Baker!” Lillian bristled at hearing her superior’s call from across the room. Promptly poising herself, Lillian made her way through the maze of soldiers to meet the scrutinizing gaze of her superior. “The Major has just informed me that we are to expect heavy casualties from the line. In light of this, I have decided to move you to surgery for the remainder of the day.” Sister Hall informed her. Lillian blinked in surprise. It was highly irregular for nursing duties to be reassigned midway through the day. Sister Hall expected all the nurses in her ranks to be proficient in every aspect of hospital care. There was no room for complaints or excuses. The inability to hold your own, or failure of any kind, was simply unacceptable in her ranks. When the novice nurses would complain, she would simply tell them to get on with it or go home. “You have experience operating on the more desperate cases. I expect you can set an example for your colleagues.” She explained._ _

__“Yes, of course.” Lillian replied obediently._ _

__“Sister Baker, next time I see you I expect your apron to be clean.” Sister Hall said, unable to overlook the infraction._ _

Upon arriving in the operating theater, Lillian promptly removed her bloody sleeve protectors and apron. She went to work scrubbing her hands. Given she’d been tending to soldiers fresh off the line for the first part of the day, Lillian took her time scrubbing and cleaning under her nails. Into the water went all the French mud and blood. _If only a bit of scrubbing and water could cleanse the mind, _Lillian thought.__

____

____

____It took less than an hour for the first mass of wounded to arrive. The operating theater quickly transitioned to performing the more pressing cases, such as amputations and wound lavages. Lillian volunteered to assist on the most serious cases because she was comfortable doing so. She rode the adrenaline high all the way until evening. By the time Lillian walked out of the operating theater it was dark outside. The stars and moon were covered by a thick layer of smoke, shrouding her in darkness except for her small lantern light. If she stood still, she could hear the distant sound of artillery fire._ _ _ _

____“Lily!” Lillian turned around to find her friend, Mary hurrying after her._ _ _ _

____“I don’t know about you, Mary, but I’m absolutely exhausted.” Lillian muttered. Mary looped her arm around Lillian’s as they walked lazily towards their sleeping quarters._ _ _ _

____“Me too.” Mary agreed. “Did you hear the rumors?” She asked. Lillian shook her head._ _ _ _

____“No, I’ve been in surgery since this morning.” Lillian yawned._ _ _ _

____“I heard we might be moving out.” Mary reported. Lillian stopped them, grabbing Mary’s arm to stop her from walking on._ _ _ _

____“Where?” Lillian demanded. Her body pumping with intense anxiety._ _ _ _

____“Not sure.” Mary shrugged. Lillian rolled her eyes. “Now before you go getting all flustered, Lily…” Mary said as she jogged to catch up with her friend. “It might just be us volunteers.” Mary added. Lillian finally stopped and turned to her friend._ _ _ _

____“Today, an ambulance driver from the front told me that it’s utter chaos. They’re stretched thin and overrun with men. When they run out of good men, they send us women to pick up the slack.” Lillian revealed. Mary nodded, her youthful face falling somber now. The unknown weighed heavily on the two girls._ _ _ _

____“Come on, Lily. There’s nothing we can do about it now. We might as well try to get some sleep.” Mary said, gently tugging on her friend’s arm._ _ _ _

____“No, you go ahead. I have something I need to do.” Lillian said as she turned back._ _ _ _

____“Can’t it wait until morning?” Mary moaned._ _ _ _

____“It’s just something I have to do.” Lillian insisted as she jogged back toward the building._ _ _ _

____Lillian made her way to the postop ward, the only nursing ward afforded space indoors. The other nursing wards were set up in large tents, similar to the nurses sleeping quarters. The cramped room was overflowing with bandaged soldiers on stretchers. Nodding to the on-duty ward Sister, Lillian moved down the rows searching for the soldier who’d captivated her mind. She found him peacefully sleeping, his still form carefully tucked under a clean blanket. Cautiously, Lillian set her lantern down and bent down beside him. The ward sister had washed all the dirt from his body, allowing Lillian to finally gaze upon his true form. Lillian discovered that his skin was the same creamy color as her own; his dark brown hair was cut close on the sides but longer on the top. Silently cursing her own selfishness, Lillian wished for him to awaken so that she could look into his blue eyes just one more time._ _ _ _

____ _ _

Darkness was all that Tommy could see. Despite the fact that he couldn’t see a damned thing, he felt closed in. Trapped in some layer of purgatory. _Someone like him would end up in purgatory, _Tommy thought. He felt the bitter laughter bubbling to the surface, but the searing pain in his chest stopped him short. The pain spread quickly through his body like an wildfire. Increasingly desperate to escape the pain and darkness, Tommy scrunched his eyes tightly closed and opened them again. Finally, he was released from the darkness and immersed in light. He slowly turned his head in search of the light source. That’s when he saw her, an angelic figure veiled in white.__

____

____

______“Is this heaven?” Tommy asked, suddenly frightened by the prospect of death._ _ _ _ _ _

______“No, Sergeant Major.” She answered with a content smile. Tommy was mesmerized by her. She reached out her hand and caressed his face. The gentle touch of her fingers against his skin calmed his anxious soul, and he leaned into it. Craving more, wishing to be drunk off the way she made him feel. “You’re alive.” She whispered._ _ _ _ _ _


	2. Chapter 2

Lillian crossed the muddy field under another pale French sunrise. The thick morning fog clinging low to the surrounding fields, providing the illusion of shelter from the outside world. Thoughts of moving closer to the front continued to gnaw at her insides, stealing her precious sleep. Ignoring the nagging pain of exhaustion behind her eyes, Lillian reported for duty; on time as usual. 

“Morning, Sister Baker.” Mary sang as she waltzed in with a cheerful smile. Lillian gladly set aside her paperwork. 

“Good morning.” Lillian replied, feeling her mood lift already. Unlike some of her colleagues Lillian held no qualms with the volunteer nurses. From the beginning Lillian admired Mary’s endless optimism. Her vibrant smile lightening the bleakest of situations. “We have a full ward. Fifteen postop, three with gas related ailments, and two who refuse to speak or move.” Lillian reported. Mary sighed, knowing the day would be a busy one. 

“I’ll go fetch a fresh tray of bandages.” Mary offered. 

“Hurry back please. I’ll need your help to get these soldiers presentable for inspection.” Lillian requested. Mary nodded before promptly departing to collect the bandages. Lillian began her morning rounds; taking time to carefully observe each soldier in her care. 

“Good morning.” A low, gravelly voice called, pulling Lillian’s attention away from the chart in her hands. Her green eyes widened.

“Sergeant Major.” Lillian replied. Her face relaxing into a content smile. 

“The name’s Thomas Shelby.” He said with a confident smile playing at his full lips. 

“Yes, Sergeant Major Shelby. I remember.” Lillian said, closing his chart. “You don’t know how glad I am to see you out of postop.” Lillian remarked. 

“I never got the chance to thank you.” Tommy said. 

“No thanks necessary, Sergeant Major. I was only-” 

“I owe my life to your quick work.” Tommy insisted, interrupting her midsentence. “Thank you nurse…” He paused, hoping for her name. 

“Sister Baker.” Lillian responded. 

“Thank you, Sister Baker.” Tommy said, his blue eyes intently fixed on her. 

“I was only doing my job.” Lillian blushed, never the one to indulge in compliments from handsome soldiers. 

“So, what’s the damage?” He asked, motioning to the chart in Lillian’s hand. Diverting her attention to the chart, Lillian scanned the pages detailing his injuries and prescribed treatments. 

“The Captain’s operative note describes significant chest trauma. Your left lung was badly bruised and surrounded by blood. A likely result of your numerous broken ribs. Your left arm is broken, but the Captain set it back in place after he finished with your chest.” Lillian reported. Her initial fears now confirmed in black and white. 

“It seems my good luck hasn’t run out yet.” Tommy chuckled sarcastically. The deep vibrations stirring up the searing pain in his chest once again. With one painful cough, Tommy recalled the unevenness of his cosmic scale. Lillian’s expression faltered as she stepped closer. 

“Trust me, Sergeant Major. Good luck like this doesn’t run out.” Lillian promised as she knelt beside his cot. Tommy’s brow knit together as another cough rattled his wounds. His charming smile twisting into a grimace. “Every breath must have been agony, yet you told me to save your friend first.” Lillian recalled his words from the day prior. 

“He took a bullet for me.” Tommy replied.

“And what did you get in return?” Lillian asked with bated breath. 

“When the tunnel caved I was pinned under one of the beams.” Tommy confessed; every horrid detail of the claustrophobic darkness engrained in the forefront of his memory. “We were all in pain, but I told them to keep quiet. I didn’t want the Germans to know we were alive and risk them finding us first.” Tommy said as his blue eyes glazed over. “My best friend was bleeding into the dirt and I told him to wait for help I didn’t even know was coming.” He confessed. Lillian covered her mouth with her hand. 

“Dear Lord.” Lillian whispered, regret twisting her gut. 

“Sorry Sister, I shouldn’t be troubling you with my problems.” He apologized, cutting through their weighty silence. Lillian watched him shove down his emotion, locking them away behind his blue eyes. In that moment, Lillian had to remind herself that she had no authority to judge the young soldier for his method of coping. Everyone had to find their own way to deal with tragedy.

“It’s no trouble, Sergeant Major Shelby.” Lillian replied sincerely. 

“Fresh bandages, Sister Baker.” Mary announced as she returned with a tray heaping with rolled bandages. “Sorry, am I interrupting something?” Mary asked, looking between Lillian and the Sergeant Major.

“No. Thank you, Mary.” Lillian said, suddenly desperate for an interruption. While Lillian felt honored to care for the wounded, it came at an incredibly high price. In the beginning, she was soft and naïve; allowing the tragic cases to cling to the forefront of her mind for weeks afterwards. It took her nearly a full year of heartache to learn how to compartmentalize. Subsequently, Lillian vowed to maintain the delicate balance between compassion and preservation. Now as the handsome Sergeant Major Shelby gazed into her eyes, Lillian found herself surrounded by the remnants of her toppled defenses. “The Captain’s outside, should I prepare the dressings?” Mary asked, hoping her words would snap Lillian back to reality. 

“Yes, please.” Lillian requested as she stood to her feet. Lillian returned to her task, increasing her pace to ensure every man was prepared for the Captain’s imminent arrival. 

“Sister Baker, good morning.” Captain Anderson greeted her. While an incorrigible flirt, Captain Anderson, was undoubtedly the most talented chest surgeon Lillian had ever met. Once the object of his flirtatious advances, Lillian maintained her refusal until he finally relented. Only then did he recognize Lillian’s impeccable surgical skill and broad knowledge of treating battlefield injuries. He determined rather quickly that she would never be an easily won prize for any man. 

“Good morning Captain Anderson.” Lillian replied as she moved to join him. “I want to thank you for trusting my judgement yesterday.” She said, lowering her voice so that only he could hear her appreciative words. He smirked, his pale green eyes shining down at her.

“How could I disagree with you after watching you dress down my poor Lieutenant?” He teased. 

“Cocky boy got what was coming to him.” Lillian muttered. 

“Anyone would be a fool to disagree with you, Lillian.” He leaned in, whispering her first name mischievously. His smile widened as a flustered Lillian opened her mouth to object to the use of her first name while on duty. “Shall we begin?” Captain Anderson proposed before she had the chance to reprimand him for his blatant lack of professionalism. In response to her disapproving green glare, he motioned for her to submit the first soldier for inspection. 

Tommy maintained a close watch on Lillian from his cot. Taking in every graceful movement as she moved about the room assisting the doctor with his examinations. He noted that she was firm yet unafraid to comfort the pained soldiers in her care. She was efficient in her work and made it all appear effortless. When it was his turn to be examined, he gazed up at her, taking in every delicate detail of her face.

“Sergeant Major Shelby, suffered several severe chest injuries following a tunnel collapse. In addition, his left arm is broken and he has many abrasions.” Lillian reported.

“When can I return to my men?” Tommy asked the Captain. Lillian’s eyes widened. It was not customary for soldiers to speak during their examination unless specifically instructed to do so. 

“Please, Sergeant Major.” Lillian pleaded. 

“When the tunnel came down, my men and I were at a crucial stage in our operation. I need to return to my men.” Tommy explained, his voice vibrating low. 

“I’m afraid that isn’t possible in your condition, Sergeant Major Shelby.” Captain Anderson replied, slightly amused at the bold request. 

“I feel fine.” Tommy insisted. 

“Your injuries will take weeks to heal. When you have recovered properly, I assure you, arrangements will be made for you to rejoin your men.” The Captain explained. “Now, Sister Baker, if you would please.” Captain Anderson said as he stepped forward. The examination was unpleasant, but Tommy found himself soothed by Lillian’s gentle care. 

“I suppose the officers aren’t accustomed to enlisted men speaking.” Tommy commented to Mary at the end of his examination. Mary chewed on her bottom lip, stifling her laughter, as she adjusted his pillow. 

“This is the Army, Sergeant Major. There are rules.” Mary said pulling the thick blanket up to his torso. “You best mind yourself around the officers.” Mary cautioned him with a small smile. 

“Am I meant to mind myself around her?” Tommy asked, glancing over at Lillian.

“Sister Baker?” Mary asked. Tommy nodded. “Especially around the Sisters.” Mary warned him.

“She’s not a religious sister, is she?” Tommy asked, hoping he didn’t dream of a nun last night. 

“Goodness, no. Sister is a title, like your rank. Lillian isn’t married, to God or anyone else.” Mary chuckled softly, amused at the thought of her friend as a nun. As she stepped away, Mary caught a glimpse of the faint smile playing at his lips. 

By afternoon the rumors were confirmed – they were moving up. With their exact destination held in secret, the place turned into a flurry of nervous anticipation. All staff reported for duty, some helping to prepare the wounded for transfer and others working to disassemble the unit. Rather than focusing on her uncertain future, Lillian worked to prepare the twenty wounded men for evacuation further up the line. The hurried act was familiar to Lillian, but still her heart thumped wildly in her chest. 

“Are you coming with us?” Tommy asked, noting Lillian’s solemn expression. 

“I’m not sure.” Lillian replied as she continued inspecting the bandage around his chest. Tommy gazed into her green eyes, easily discovering the turmoil she attempted to hide. 

“You’re worried.” Tommy observed. 

“Just concerned for my patients.” Lillian forced a smile to deflect his observant comment. Tommy shook his head. 

“You’re lying.” He said. Lillian’s lips parted slightly, shocked by his candor. “I can see it in your eyes.” Tommy added. 

“I’m not afraid of my duty.” Lillian stated. 

“I never said that.” Tommy responded, his deep voice softening. “You’re good at what you do, Sister Baker. I’m sure you’ll be fine wherever they send you.” Tommy said as he covered her hand with his own. Lillian stilled, her green eyes falling to their hands. 

“Good luck to you, Sergeant Major Shelby.” Lillian said as she stood, signaling that he was ready to be moved to the train.

“You too.” Tommy said. For the first time since arriving in France, Tommy found himself wishing for more time. Time to suss out what he felt for this woman. Time to wrap his mind around what could be. Time with her, because she warmed the fragments of his spirit that had long since grown cold. 

By the time the afternoon sun was low in the sky realization washed over Lillian. She would push forward with the rest of her colleagues, minus the nurses who were bound north with the wounded. With the wards empty, and no incoming patients; Lillian strolled toward the receiving hall in search of any task to occupy herself. Open crates and supplies littered the floor where the sea of wounded used to lay. Amidst the mess Lillian spotted Captain Anderson’s tall frame.

“Hello Captain!” Lillian called out as she approached. The tall blonde turned on his heel, surprise written all over his face. 

“What are you still doing here?” He panicked, moving swiftly across the room to meet her. 

“What do you mean?” Lillian asked, tilting her head to the side in confusion. 

“I asked the Major to send you with the evacuees.” He explained. 

“Why would you do that?” Lillian questioned. “I’m not some green recruit that needs to be protected. I’ve seen all the horrors, and still I fulfil my duty. I’m good at what I do!” Lillian snapped, confusion and anger melting in her fiery core. 

“I’ll explain it later, but right now you need to be on that train.” He insisted. Rather than waiting for a response, he seized her wrist and pulled her outside. “Come on! We can still catch it.” He said with a quick glance at his wrist watch. 

“I haven’t packed!” Lillian protested as she dug in her heels. 

“Ugh! There’s no time.” He groaned, as she jerked him in the opposite direction of the train.

“It’ll take me one minute.” She insisted. Captain Anderson rolled his eyes as Lillian disappeared into her tent. It was no secret that Lillian was a strong woman, but this had him questioning her sense altogether. 

Lillian haphazardly shoved her undergarments and spare uniforms into a canvas sack, not caring that everything would be a horrid mess when she eventually unpacked. She snatched the silver frame from her table and buried it deep within the pile of clothes. In it a faded photo, the last one of Lillian and her father before France. It was undoubtedly her most precious possession. A tether to home. She hurried to her feet as the train whistle screeched out from the distance, signaling their imminent departure. 

Captain Anderson pulled Lillian across the muddy field, their boots churning up chunks of earth as they went. Struggling with the heavy maternal, Lillian lifted the hem of her dress above her knee to keep up with his pace. “Tell me why.” Lillian insisted as the train came into view. The train whistle shrieked one final time before the break released and the wheels slowly moved forward. 

“Lillian, jump!” He shouted as he guided her closer to the train. Ignoring the pounding sensation in her chest, Lillian grasped the metal handle with her sweaty palm. With one final push of bravery, she leapt onto the first step and pulled herself up until her boots were firmly planted on the cars narrow platform. 

“Why me?” She shouted over the deafening sound of the grinding train wheels. 

“You deserve a chance at happiness, and there’s no chance of that where we’re going.” He managed to explain while hurrying alongside the train.

“Take care of yourself!” Lillian called as he fell behind the increasing speed of the train. 

“Good luck, Lillian.” He shouted into the distance. Lillian raised her hand and offered him a solemn wave goodbye. 

“Sister Baker!” Sister Hall squawked. Lillian jumped, finding herself face to face with her horrified superior. Dread settled deep in her belly as she dropped the hem of her dress. “What is the meaning of this? You’re a mess!” Sister Hall demanded. 

“I’m sorry, Sister Hall. I didn’t know… the Major changed my orders last minute.” She answered. Lillian stiffened as Sister Hall’s scrutinizing gaze traveled her form. 

“When we disembark, I expect you in a pristine uniform befitting your position.” Sister Hall demanded. “Get on with it. You’re assigned to car five.” She turned with a dismissive wave. Lillian huffed, praying for a change in superior upon arrival.

When she finally made it all the way to car five, Lillian dropped her canvas pack on the floor and slumped against the wall. The physical and mental exhaustion finally catching up with her. 

“Looks like you made the train after all.” Tommy smirked, thoroughly amused at the sight of a disheveled Lillian. Her green eyes shot open as she turned toward the source of the voice. There he was, tucked into the bottom bunk, a pleased look gracing his handsome face. 

“By the skin of my teeth.” Lillian replied, a chuckle of disbelief rolling off her tongue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please share your thoughts in the comment section below!


	3. Chapter 3

British General Hospital  
Abbeville, France 

Tommy’s feet impatiently twitched against the metal bed frame, a heavy sigh of frustration escaping his lips. His weary blue eyes snapped opened yet again, much to his displeasure. Drawing in another hesitant breath, sharp pains ripped through his damaged chest; punctuating the persistent dull ache. 

“Is there a problem, Sergeant Major?” Tommy tilted his head; darkened orbs flickering to the dainty nurse at his bedside. 

“I’m in pain.” He grumbled. Irritability pulsing through his muscles and taking up residence in his weary bones. 

“But you’ve just had morphine an hour ago.” She replied. Tommy ground his back teeth together watching her wring her hands.

“I’m still in pain.” He barked, beyond the point of tempering himself. The young nurse’s eyes widened as she took a hesitant step back. Her discomfort in dealing with difficult men now clearly apparent. 

“I’ll speak to the doctor.” She agreed, taking up her lamp and retreating hastily. 

Tommy grunted as he attempted again to readjust in the bed. Every muscle in his body bunching with frustration at his failure. Unable to escape the confines of his weakened state, Tommy stared up at the shadowed ceiling; longing for Lillian. Wishing to see her pink lips curl into a gentle smile and feel her reassuring hand against his broken body. Craving the only one who offered him warmth or kindness without expectation in over two years. If only he could conjure thoughts of her instead of horrid memories, Tommy thought; then he could get some sleep,. 

The nurse returned in a hurry, lifting another spoonful of elixir to his eager lips. Within minutes, his pale face flushed with heat. The heavenly concoction extinguishing the intense pain in his chest. He released the tension from his locked jaw, allowing a relaxed expression to emerge. Finally, his heavy eyelids closed; sleep beckoning him with open arms.

The miracle drug succeeded in quieting his mind; forming a barrier against his chaotic and troubled thoughts. Tommy eagerly embraced the darkness that accompanied every subsequent dose, accepting the only foreseeable reprieve from the mental and physical torture brought on by his injuries. For without the effects of the potent drug he was easy prey for his demons. Horribly vivid memories driving him from the depths of his slumber every time the medicine waned. With the meek nurse amenable to his irritable requests, Tommy spent his first night in Abbeville hovering in blissful drug-fueled nothingness; awakening only long enough to request another dose. 

The early morning call for inspection jarred Lillian from her sleep. Rising from her cot with a start, she suddenly found herself engulfed in a sea of panicked nurses. Lillian rubbed the bleariness from her eyes as she searched for the pieces of her uniform. A frown forming upon discovering them in a heap at the bottom of her pack. She dressed in a hurry, knowing tardiness would only draw further attention to the less than ideal conditions of her uniform. Blindly, she swept her dark locks underneath her white veil and pinned it in place before rushing off to catch up with the group. 

The spindly middle-aged woman gazed upon them with the dignified composure of an experienced matron. An ache building in Lillian’s stomach as she listened to the scrutiny befalling her colleagues. She was not accustomed to being caught off guard, which made her current situation all the more frustrating. Lillian straightened her back and awaited her turn; willing to accept the Matron’s stern words if need be. 

“Fine British soldiers come here to heal, Sister Baker. How can you expect them to do so with the mud on your boots reminding them of the trenches?” The Matron asked. Lillian swallowed her regrets. “Wash those boots before reporting for duty, or your first job will be scrubbing my floors.” She snapped before Lillian could answer. Her unforgiving gaze silencing the sharp retort burning Lillian’s tongue. 

Shaking her head at the overall state of the newcomers, the Matron concluded her inspection with a lecture on standards and duty. Imploring them to be the beacons of purity and hope they were intended to be. “Now I should hardly need to remind you that you are a few young ladies living and working among many men. As your oath dictates, you are expected to live above reproach. If I hear so much as a whisper of scandal, you will be reprimanded. Do I make myself clear?” The Matron asked. 

“Yes, Matron.” They replied in obedient unison.

With the tense inspection concluded, the crowd of nurses dispersed to complete their morning tasks. Forgoing the opportunity for breakfast, Lillian retreated from the group to mend her appearance before reporting for duty. Collapsing down on her cot, an exhausted and disappointed sigh slipped past her lips as she removing her muddy boots. Looking down to the open pack on the ground, she noted the heap of uniforms and undergarments in need of attention. First, she cautiously removed the silver frame from the tangled mess. A soft smile spreading across her face as she brushed her fingertips across the delicate photo. Setting the frame carefully on her pillow, Lillian set her uniforms to right before turning her attention to the regrettable state of her worn black boots. 

“I loathe these collars!” Mary snarled as she entered the tent; shattering the rare quiet. 

“You’ll adjust.” Lillian quipped, working the brush against her boots. 

“What’s going on with you lately? You see off.” Mary asked, concern softening her vibrant voice.

“What do you mean?” Lillian replied without acknowledging her friend’s gaze. Seeking recognition, Mary reclined herself at the end of Lillian’s cot, her astute gaze trained on Lillian’s profile. 

“I’ve never known you to be unprepared for anything, and never something as simple as an inspection.” Mary said. 

“It’s been a long few days.” Lillian said, taking care to maintain a level tone as to not excite the wild speculations already floating around in Mary’s head.

“I heard about your run in with Sister Hall on the train.” Mary continued. 

“Like I said, it’s been a long few days.” Lillian replied. 

“If you don’t want to talk to me, that’s fine. I can see your busy.” Mary announced as she moved to stand. “Too busy it seems for your _friend _.” Mary said, heaping on the guilt.__

__“Mary,” Lillian groaned, finally turning her head._ _

__“No, no. It’s alright.” Mary insisted as she stood and smoothed her uniform._ _

__“I’m sorry.” Lillian said meeting Mary’s gaze. “You’re right, I haven’t been myself.” She admitted._ _

__“You’re forgiven, but only if you tell me where you went two nights ago.” Mary replied, a smirk easily replacing her pouty expression. Lillian rolled her eyes at Mary’s dramatics._ _

__“To check on a patient.” Lillian insisted before dropping her gaze to the boot in her hands. Mary raised her brow, suspicious of Lillian’s quick response._ _

__“Any chance that patient was Sergeant Major Shelby?” She asked, causing Lillian’s head to snap back to attention._ _

__“What?” Lillian replied, instantly flustered at the mention of his name. Mary’s smirk widened into a vibrant smile._ _

__“So it was him! I could tell there was something between you two.” Mary cheered with glee; returning to her seat at the edge of Lillian’s cot._ _

__“He was my patient. That is all.” Lillian replied, feeding herself and Mary the half-truth. Her heart and mind still uncertain of what it was exactly she felt for the handsome soldier._ _

__“He asked me about you.” Mary revealed, baiting Lillian further into the conversation._ _

__“And what did you tell him?” Lillian asked, her heart beating wildly against her chest. Mary’s eyes sparkled with mischievous delight._ _

__“What did you want me to tell him?” Mary teased._ _

__“I hope nothing to get his hopes up.” Lillian replied._ _

__“Oh, come on, Lily!” Mary cheered. “It’s obvious he likes you. The poor man looked absolutely mortified when he thought you were a nun.” Mary giggled remembering the sparkle in the Sergeant Major’s blue eyes and his smitten smile._ _

__“I might as well be. You know the rules are different for qualified nurses.” Lillian said._ _

__“You’re a walking beacon of purity, Lily. How could anyone forget?” Mary moaned. Setting her boots to the side, Lillian took Mary’s hand gently. A soft sigh slipping past her lips._ _

__“When this terrible war ends, you’ll leave all this behind to marry a nice man. My work will simply change venues. This work is my life, it’s who I am.” Lillian said with a faint smile._ _

__“I know.” Mary said, placing her hand over Lillian’s. “Your one of the best. Give this place some time, and soon everyone will know it too.” Mary said, matching Lillian’s smile._ _

__“Honestly, Mary, I’m not so sure I’m cut out for this place. Nursing so close to the front provides... a new perspective.” Lillian said, finally confessing her mixed feelings out loud._ _

__“It changes you.” Mary agreed having heard of the terrible events Lillian witnessed._ _

__“The things I’ve seen and done… no one could be the same afterwards.” Lillian whispered, her gaze fixed somewhere far away._ _

__“No one would blame you for wanting out.” Mary said gently. Lillian shook her head, either in disapproval or to clear her mind._ _

__“I don’t know what Captain Anderson was thinking.” Lillian said with a restrained chuckle._ _

__“What are you talking about?” Mary asked._ _

__“He requested my transfer at the last minute. It’s his fault I nearly missed the train.” Lillian replied._ _

__“Why would he do that? He knows how good you are.” Mary asked, confusion twisting her expression. “If he was moving closer to the front, he would want you by his side.” Mary insisted._ _

__“All he said was that I deserve a chance to be happy, and there was no chance of that if I went with them.” Lillian answered. “I wish I understood it, but I don’t.” She sighed, diverting her gaze._ _

__“Perhaps the Captain wasn’t referring to your job.” Mary proposed. Lillian turned, confusion clouding her green orbs. “When was the last time you considered your own happiness?” Mary asked gently._ _

__“There’s a war on. Happiness isn’t necessarily in abundance.” Lillian stated._ _

__“You know what I mean.” Mary groaned at her friend’s stubbornness. “There is more to life than work. More happiness to be had once this terrible business is behind us.” Mary said._ _

__“Am I to assume for the purpose of this conversation that happiness and men are one in the same?” Lillian asked._ _

__“Is it so absurd to think that they could be the same?” Mary replied._ _

__“I value my career, and the education afforded to me. Any romantic association with a man, never mind something as serious as marriage, would end my career. I’m not a naïve little girl. I will not blindly cast aside my hard-earned freedom for a man’s lofty promise of love.” Lillian insisted._ _

__“Who said anything about love, or marriage for that matter?” Mary interjected, a proud smile quickly forming. Lillian clamped her mouth shut until her full, pink lips formed a thin line. Like a bug tangled in a spiders web, Lillian felt trapped under Mary’s perceptive gaze._ _

__“Lily, listen to me. Time is a precious. Take some to seek out someone, or something, that makes you truly happy.” Mary begged._ _

__“I appreciate your concern, Mary. Truly, I do; but my mind is made up.” Lillian said._ _

__“But I saw the way you looked at him!” Mary persisted, her pitch increasing sharply. Lillian shook her head._ _

__“Is that so? And what sort of look was it?” Lillian teased, switching tactics in hopes that Mary would soon relent. Lillian pulled on her clean boots and quickly laced them._ _

__“I think your heart and head are not in agreement when it comes to Sergeant Major Shelby.” Mary announced, her unwavering gaze daring her friend to refute her claim. Lillian’s playful smile faded. “He cut straight through your defenses and went straight to your heart, didn’t he?” Mary pressed._ _

__“What if he did?” Lillian whispered, her words sounding more like an admission than a question. Suddenly, Lillian’s heart flooded with weighty emotions; ones she was ill equipped to handle._ _

__“Would it really be so bad? To feel something real for someone, and allow them to feel something deeply for you.” Mary replied, her tone dampening._ _

__“I have to go.” Lillian blurted out as she shot to her feet. “I’ll be late.” Lillian muttered the excuse over her shoulder while already in full retreat. Shunning the notion that love or happiness with a man was an option for a woman such as herself._ _

__Lillian hurried along the path from the nurses tents back to the main building. Her hand guarding to her white veil as she gazed up at the large stone structure. It was as close to a proper hospital as Lillian had seen since the war started. Pulling open the heavy doors, Lillian presented herself to the Senior Sister for assignment. Thrust back into the strictly regimented hospital environment, she could only hope that her polished exterior was enough to disguise the growing unease in her belly._ _

__

__Tommy tucked his right arm underneath his head as he stared blankly at the ceiling. His crystal blue eyes glazing over as his mind slipped into an abyss of boredom._ _

__“Good morning, Sergeant Major Shelby.” Lillian’s melodic voice floated into his ears._ _

__“Sister Baker.” Tommy said, shifting his gaze to her frame. He managed a respectful nod despite his exhaustion and awkward positioning._ _

__“I have your medicine. Think you can manage it?” She asked. Tommy nodded; eager for the opportunity to change position after such a prolonged period of confinement. Stepping forward, Lillian hooked her arm underneath his right arm and placed her right hand underneath his left side._ _

__“What are you doing?” Tommy snapped, his blue eyes meeting hers._ _

__“Helping you sit up.” Lillian replied, thoroughly confused by his protest._ _

__“I can pull myself up.” Tommy insisted, his bicep flexing as he grasped the metal frame with his right hand. His striking blue eyes burning with rebellion._ _

__“Don’t you dare rip those stitches, Sergeant Major!” Lillian scolded him. Caught off guard by her warning tone and gaze, Tommy yielded. Lillian proceeded, assisting him into a seated position and leaning him back against the pillows. Even with Lillian doing most of the work, pain rippled through Tommy’s chest; every muscle and fragmented bone protesting the movement._ _

__“You made that look easy.” Tommy breathed, riding the waves of intense pain caused by the position change._ _

__“I’ve had plenty of practice.” Lillian said as she presented him with his medicine and a cup of water. “Trust me, this is easy work compared to carrying a soldier on a stretcher.” Lillian said. Tommy pulled the water glass away from his lips; his blue eyes fixed on her. Although Tommy already admired Lillian for her gentle skill and beauty; he found yet another reason as he stared at the strong, self-assured woman standing in front of him._ _

__“A nurse who carries stretchers. Who’d of thought?” He said before taking his pills._ _

__“You sound surprised.” Lillian commented, accepting the empty glass from his hand. Tommy conceded with a subtle nod._ _

__“Perhaps.” He agreed. A smirk ghosted across Lillian’s pink lips. “Any chance you could get me a packet of cigarettes?” He asked, knowing the smoke could settle the irritability in his bones. His craving for tobacco growing steadily throughout the night and morning._ _

__“You really shouldn’t be smoking.” Lillian replied regrettably._ _

__“Have mercy, Sister Baker.” He pleaded, summoning all the charm he could muster. “I’d settle for just one.” He said. Lillian sighed, releasing all the air from her lungs._ _

__“Fine, but only one.” She agreed, leaving him in search of cigarettes. Tommy felt the corners of his lips tugging up into a smile._ _

__“You’re an angel.” Tommy praised her when she returned with a packet of cigarettes and a match box._ _

__“Wait until you take a puff. You may yet curse at me today, Sergeant Major.” She said. Tommy impatiently accepted the cigarette from her outstretched hand, moving it back and forth against his lips before positioning it in the corner of his lip. Lillian struck the match, guarding the flame with her opposite hand until it reached the tip of his cigarette. “Don’t inhale deeply.” She warned, waving out the blackened match. Tommy inhaled cautiously, welcoming the relaxing smoke into his lungs. Lillian slipped the cigarettes and matches into her pocket._ _

__“Leave the pack.” Tommy muttered, the cigarette dangling from his lips._ _

__“Not a chance. I know how you boys are with cigarettes.” Lillian replied. Tommy tilted his chin, his moody blue eyes clashing with Lillian’s resolve. “Too much smoke could send you into a coughing fit. I can’t have you busting your stitches.” Lillian explained. Tommy found himself conceding to her again, nodding in agreement before returning the cigarette to his lips._ _

__“Tell me, how long do you intend to keep me confined to this bed?” He asked. The smoke easing the irritability from his deep voice._ _

__“After another good night of rest, I might allow you to sit on the side of the bed when I come back tomorrow.” Lillian replied. The thought of another night trapped in bed left Tommy with the hankering for another dose of morphine._ _

__“Then I will anxiously await your return.” Tommy said. Feeling heat nip at her cheeks and ears, Lillian turned her attention to his dressings. Grateful for the distraction from his piercing blue eyes. “How do you like it here?” Tommy asked filling the silence._ _

__“It’s alright.” Lillian replied._ _

__“You don’t sound so sure.” Tommy said, picking up on the subtle uncertainty laced in Lillian’s voice._ _

__“Well I suppose some nurses would prefer it here, seeing as it’s similar to nursing back home; but I’ve been away from places like this for a long time.” She said. “And I could certainly do without this oppressive collar.” Lillian joked, lifting her head to reveal a wide smile. Tommy matched her smile, silently agreeing that the high collar didn’t belong with Lillian’s soft features._ _

__“Where have you been for the past two years?” Tommy asked, noting the two service strips sewn onto her uniform. Lillian’s hands stilled against his bandaged chest; tension building between her shoulder blades._ _

__“Before Amiens I was assigned to a field ambulance near Ypres, Belgium.” She answered, refusing to meet his gaze. Tommy’s blood ran cold._ _

__“You were in Flanders?” Tommy said, unable to understand why a woman would be positioned anywhere near the bloody salient. Lillian stood, her back straightening as tension spread throughout her body._ _

__“I was assigned to a mobile surgical unit in Belgium at the beginning of the war. After retreating from the German Army we were ordered to circle north and join the French at Ypres. Last year field ambulance positions were opened to qualified nurses, so I went forward.” Lillian said._ _

__“Why you?” Tommy inquired._ _

__“I’ve never backed away from a surgical case, nor any soldier in need. I have no reservations performing my duty. The blood and mud stopped bothering me a long time ago.” Lillian answered tightly. Tommy caught a brief glimpse of the tears pooling in Lillian’s green eyes before she turned, unwilling to share her tears._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness - my apologies for the lengthy delay!! Truth be told, I had an entire third chapter written and was in the process of editing when I decided to scrap the whole thing! 
> 
> I do hope this makes up for the delay. As always, your kudos and comments are much appreciated. I do enjoy your feedback!


End file.
